They Would Never Approve
by Chloe Llewellyn
Summary: A bit of an experiment with the character of Yvonne McGruder. Suggestions of KochanskiMcGruder femSlash. You'll have to see what happens.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One 

"I cried this morning, not quite sure what over, but I got really upset. Then I saw him and he made me smile, I think I've fallen in love. There's just one problem, I'm Kristine Z Kochanski, I'm a navigation officer, a bloody good navigation officer and he's a lowly technician. I went out with him once, but I broke it off, I couldn't be seen with him, not like that. He's an excellent lover though, tender, gentle and romantic. He knows how to satisfy me and he does a good job of it.

"I didn't think we could be together I rank number two and he ranks 169. But I don't care anymore, I'm in love. His name is Dave Lister, he's a guitar playing, curry-eating slob with a severe case of athlete's foot, but I still love him. My parents would never approve, they want me to marry someone with a good job, but I can't help whom I've fallen in love with, no-one can. The problem with me is that I like a bit of rough and that's what Dave is"

"Kochanski" an American voice called "you're needed on the console"

Kriss put down her pen and shut her lilac diary. She pushed in her leather chair, picked up her uniform jacket and made her way to the cockpit. There lying on her desk was a letter. Kriss picked up the letter and studied the handwriting, or, to be more specific scribble. It was obvious that this letter was from Dave, the man she loved.

Kriss tore open the envelope and attempted to read the scribbles on the paper, she saw one line, five words, such a simple saying, but possibly the most important words of her life. The five words were '_Kristine Kochanski, I love you'_.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

Yvonne McGruder packed up her things and said goodbye to her old quarters, she begged her now ex partner Ben to take her back, but he refused again. Yvonne wiped the tears from her eyes and walked away from her old life.

Yvonne moved into her new room and looked around, on the table were a pen and a diary, the bed was made and beauty products stood on the shelves. A brown teddy was sitting on the bed. Yvonne knew straight away who her new roommate was – Kristine Kochanski.

As if on cue she walked in, her long brown hair fell behind her shoulders and her blue eyes looked into Yvonne's.

"McGruder" Kriss said spitefully "I've got the bottom bunk, you can have the top"

"You can call me Yvonne" she answered, "Can I call you Kriss?"

"If you must" Kriss answered "I'm going to have a shower"

While Kriss was in the shower there was a knock on the door, obviously Yvonne answered it, it was Dave.

"Oh, hello" Dave was surprised to see Yvonne in Kristine's quarters "I didn't know you lived here"

"Just moved in today" Yvonne giggled "why who were you looking for?"

"Kristine Kochanski" Dave told her "do you know where she's moved to?"

"She still lives here" Yvonne answered, "I'm her new roommate"

Just at that moment Kriss came out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. Dave stared at Kriss with longing in his eyes. Yvonne could see the way Dave was staring at Kriss and a feeling of immense envy washed over her.

"There's my girl" Dave smiled "did you get my note?"

"Yes" giggled Kriss "did you mean it?"

"Of course I did" Dave answered, "I love you, can we go out?"

"Sure, we'll go to the officer's club, wait here while I get dressed"

Kriss shut the door in Dave's face and dropped her towel so she could get dressed. Yvonne inconspicuously looked at her new roommate while she was naked. Kriss' perfect body glistened as the light reflected on the water from the shower. Most people didn't know this but Yvonne McGruder was bisexual and like the entire population of straight men on Red Dwarf had a bit of a thing for Kristine Kochanski. Yvonne wanted Dave out of the picture (if Yvonne couldn't have her no-one could), but it was impossible for Yvonne to tell Kriss the truth so Yvonne thought back to the start of this trip. Dave Lister had got rather drunk and they had ended up in bed together and that was the beginnings of an affair that finished three weeks later when Dave turned his attention to Kristine. Yvonne would use this as an excuse to get to them both and forget the small fact that Yvonne McGruder loved Kristine Kochanski.

"That's brought it all back" Yvonne sighed. She didn't know whether Kriss knew about the affair but if she did, no harm done, if she didn't – perfect!

"What do you mean?" Kriss asked her "what's brought all of what back?"

"Seeing Dave again" Yvonne answered "memories"

"What memories?"

"Don't you know?" Yvonne smiled "I had a short relationship with Dave"

"Oh, was it before I started going with him?"

"Don't know"

Kriss picked up her jacket and threw it over her back

"I'm off" Kriss told Yvonne "don't touch my stuff!"

"See you later" Yvonne smiled "have fun"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Yvonne sat down on the sofa and put her head in her hands. She hated being alone Yvonne always needed to be with someone, someone she could spoil and spend all her time with. Yvonne sat and thought for a very long time about her life and how lonely she now felt until the knock on the door broke her thought. She got up and opened it. A familiar figure stood in the frame. It was Arnold Judas Rimmer.

"Hello Yvonne" Arnold stepped into the room "can I come in?"

"I think you already are in!" Yvonne joked

"Yes" Arnold smiled "do you like your new quarters?"

"They're okay" Yvonne shrugged "just a place to sleep"

"Has your roommate gone out?" Arnold enquired

"Yes" Yvonne answered sexily "we're all alone!"

Arnold gulped "who is it?"

"Who?" Yvonne thought for a minute "oh, my roommate? Kristine Kochanski"

"Has Miss Kochanski gone for long?"

"Don't know, why?"

"Can I stay for a while?"

"Sure" Yvonne agreed.

Kriss and Dave sat down at their table in the officers club and started sipping their drinks

"Thank you for bringing me here" Dave smiled "I wouldn't have got in without you"

"It's okay" Kriss smiled "if you pay then we're even!"

"I was going to anyway Dave assured her "you're worth every pennycent"

"Are you ready to order?" the waitress interrupted

"I think so Rosie" Kriss smiled. Kriss and Rosie were sisters, very close sisters, so close that when Kriss announced that she was going on a long trip Rosie had done all she could to get herself a job. Unfortunately one of the requirements for the job involved sleeping with captain Hollister and Rosie had recently discovered that she was three months pregnant.

Dave ordered chicken Vindaloo and Kriss ordered steak. They were given their meals in a flash and immediately tucked in. What Yvonne told her had made Kriss think. She couldn't let it lie anymore she needed to ask Dave.

"Dave?" she started "can I ask you a question?"

"Sure" Dave answered, "anything you want, I've got nothing to hide"

"Have you ever had sex with Yvonne McGruder?"

"I went out with her for a few weeks, but it was before I met you"

"Did you sleep with her though?"

"Yeah, of course I did. But she's nowhere near as good as you, why?"

"She told me that seeing you brought back a lot of memories"

"Can't see that" Dave answered, "we were never that close"

"What did you tell her when you broke up?"

"That I'd met someone else and I didn't think it was fair to lead her on! Why?"

"Just asking"

Arnold and Yvonne sat down on the sofa together, Arnold wanted her to be his girlfriend so much but he couldn't ask her, what if she said 'no' that would be too embarrassing, even for him. He decided to try and get her to ask him.

Yvonne thought seriously about the situation that she was facing. On one side there was Kristine Kochanski, a wonderful woman but definitely not a lesbian and as far as Yvonne knew she wasn't bisexual either. Then there was Arnold Rimmer; he wasn't in love with anyone else. He wasn't out having fun while she was stuck in. He was here with her; she knew what he had in his little mind. She thought about it for a while, she loved heterosexual sex and Arnold hadn't been too bad. Kriss was out and even when she did come home, she wouldn't be thinking about Yvonne McGruder, she'd be thinking about Dave Lister.

Yvonne decided that sleeping with Arnold was the best thing for her at the moment. It would give her a chance to let off some steam and feel a whole lot better.

"You have wonderful eyes" Arnold announced out of the blue "they're gorgeous"

"Thank you" Yvonne answered, "I love your lips"

"Really?" Arnold asked. The excitement in his voice was obvious

"Yeah" Yvonne assured him "they look so soft and kissable too!"

"Wow" Arnold sighed, "would you like to kiss them?"

"Yeah" Yvonne put her arms round Arnold's shoulders and pushed his lips against hers "let's go to bed"

"Okay"

Yvonne striped down to her bra and knickers and climbed into her new top bunk. Arnold stripped down to his boxers and followed her up the ladder into her bunk. The bunks were bloody tiny and only just managed to accommodate both of them. Yvonne took her bra and knickers off and laid there completely naked and ready for him. She didn't need to tell Arnold twice, his boxers were off and he was ready.

"Just kiss me" Yvonne asked him "I don't want sex yet, just lay with me and kiss me"

They laid there for a while just kissing before Arnold entered her, she was so horny and wet that he just slid into her with no trouble at all.

"You've grown" Yvonne gasped, "It's bigger"

"Is that okay darling?" Arnold asked concerned "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No" Yvonne just about managed to get out "it's amazing, the best sex I've ever had."

No one had ever said that to Arnold before to say he was ecstatic about it would've been an understatement. He pushed himself deeper and deeper into her until he couldn't go any further. Yvonne obviously enjoyed every second of this, the screams and the moans made that very apparent. The only problem was that it didn't last very long. Within fifteen minutes it was all over. Arnold came in Yvonne and screamed in pleasure as he came

"wow Arnold" Yvonne exclaimed "that was lovely"

"I'm glad" Arnold kissed her "it was lovely for me too"

The door flew open and Kriss and Dave walked in. Obviously Yvonne and Arnold in bed was the last thing they expected. They stood in the doorframe with their mouths wide open.

"Hello Kristine" Yvonne tried to fill the awkward silence "did you have a good time?"

"Yeah" Kristine answered, "Shall we leave you alone?"

"Yes please" Yvonne answered, "If you don't mind"

"It's okay" Kriss responded, "We'll go to Dave's"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four 

Late that evening Kriss wandered back to her quarters, she was happy and satisfied. She knew that she wouldn't walk in on Yvonne and Arnold because Arnold had just walked in on her and Dave

"Hello Yvonne" Kriss smiled cheerfully "have a good evening?"

"Yes thank you" Yvonne answered "you?"

"Yeah" Kriss sat down next to Yvonne on the sofa "I'm sorry about earlier" Kriss put her hand on Yvonne's knee which made Yvonne feel a hundred percent better and turned on again "it wasn't fair of me to treat you like that, can you forgive me?"

"Sure" Yvonne answered, "of course I'll forgive you"

"Can I have a hug?" Kriss asked, "I'd really like us to become friends"

"Sure" Yvonne promised, "come here"

Kriss fell into Yvonne's arms and healed on really tight. Yvonne felt so sexy with Kriss, she longed to be able to pull Kriss towards her and slip her tongue into Kriss' mouth. Yvonne wanted Kriss to go down on her and lick her out. Yvonne wanted to go down on Kriss and make her moan in pleasure but it wasn't to be, Kriss was with Dave now and apparently Yvonne was with Arnold. The hug ended

"I'm going to have a shower" Kriss informed Yvonne as if the hug hadn't happened "I won't be long"

"Okay" Yvonne answered "see you in a minute"

Yvonne thought about Kriss in the shower, but only for a second, she decided to give it up and jump into her own bed on her own. Kriss came out of the shower wearing her tiny short nightie. Kriss' long brown hair was soaking wet, Yvonne loved soaking wet hair, it was a major turn on for her. But she couldn't see it for long, Kriss got straight into bed.

During the night Yvonne woke up from a horrible, horrible dream. She found her way to the bathroom before returning and sitting at the table. Yvonne stared at Kristine as she lay sleeping on her bunk. She couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than this wonderful woman. She was perfect! Yvonne jumped up and looked into the mirror. Her hair didn't fall perfectly like Kriss' did; her eyes didn't shine like to crystal cut diamonds. Kriss' did, she was perfect, wonderful, amazing.

"Why can't I look like her?" Yvonne asked herself

"Like who?" Kryten asked. This made Yvonne jump, she hadn't realised that the ship's new service mechanoid was in the room "I'm sorry miss McGruder ma'am I didn't wish to startle you"

"It's okay Kryten" Yvonne assured him "what do you want?"

"I'm just doing my daily dust" Kryten announced, "don't mind me!"

"Kryten"

"Yes ma'am"

"It's ten past two in the morning, why are you dusting at this time of night?"

"it takes me a long time to dust everyone's quarters I always do miss Kochanski's at this time"

"Oh,"

"Why are you up?"

"Just thinking Kryten, just thinking"

"Is everything okay ma'am?" Kryten asked, "Do you want anything?"

"Yes" Yvonne answered "I want to be myself, I want to be able to love who I want without fear of judgement and lack of understanding"

"How about a cup of tea?"

"Okay"

Yvonne tried to go back to sleep after her nice cup of tea but she couldn't, she just lay there, she had the love bug and she had it bad. Kriss only had to step outside her quarters to get to a vending machine. She asked for cornflakes and milk and for the first time in a week she got what she asked for on the first attempt. By the time Kriss had successfully got her breakfast Yvonne was up.

"Morning Yvonne" Kriss said cheerfully "how are you feeling today?"

"Okay" Yvonne smiled half heartedly "I'm fine"

"What's wrong?" Kriss asked, "I know you Yvonne and I know that something is up!"

"Nothing" Yvonne answered "I'm fine"

"Are you sure?" Kriss asked concerned "you don't seem it"

"I'm fine" Yvonne snapped, "Just leave me alone, okay"

"Fine" Yvonne answered, "I wont bother"

"Oh, Kriss" Yvonne apologised "I didn't mean it"

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been nice to you"

"Kriss don't be like that, please, Kristine"

Kristine didn't answer, she just tucked into her lovely bowl of cornflakes. There was an awkward silence in the room until there was a knock on the door. Dave walked straight into the room and winked at them both in turn

"Hey girls" he smiled "everything okay?"

"Yeah" the answered in exactly the same half hearted tone in unison. They looked at each other and giggled.

"I'm sorry Kristine" Yvonne smiled "I didn't mean to snap at you"

"It's okay" Kristine smiled back "I know you didn't mean it"

"It's funny how I just walk into a room with two lovely girls in at and everything's okay again!" Dave smiled

"No" Yvonne answered "I realised I was wrong"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five 

"My roommate's not really as bad as I thought. She's a little bit barmy but that's not necessarily a bad thing and after all she is sleeping with Rimmer, need I say any more? She snapped at me today, I don't know why, but she did.

"I decided to do it, I decided I couldn't hide my feelings any more. I decided to give Dave a go and so far every one has been very supportive. I know he loves me, I know he wants me and I know he'll treat me good"

"Hey babe" Dave interrupted "every thing okay?"

"Yeah" Kristine answered, "I'm just writing in my diary"

"Really?" Dave answered, "What have you written about me?"

Kriss read out the last paragraph in her diary word for word. As she spoke the smile on Dave's face grew from a small grin to a beaming smile.

"I do love you darling," Dave told her in response to the diary "I love you very much"

"I know Dave," she told him "I know"

"Come here" Dave called "give me a kiss"

She leant towards him ready to kiss him. He leant towards her and they met in the middle. Kristine slipped her tongue into Dave's mouth and started running it round Dave's teeth. Just as they got to the tender bit Yvonne and Arnold walked in

"Sorry Kriss" Yvonne smiled "do you want us to leave and come back later?"

"It's all right" Kristine answered, "what is it?"

"Nothing" Yvonne answered "we're just going to hang out here"

"Oh" Kristine answered "that's fine"

The four of them sat down together and simply chatted. Both Dave and Arnold could see that Yvonne didn't want to be with either of them, she wasn't enjoying their company; she was enjoying Kristine Kochanski's company. From what Arnold and Dave could see Kriss was unaware of Yvonne's 'advances' and Yvonne wasn't very happy about this! The four of them carried on chatting into the early hours of the next morning. They spoke about Kristine's relationship with her parents and the way they treated her. Yvonne seemed to give Kristine lots of hugs and kisses when she realised how bad Kristine felt about the whole situation. Dave felt really uncomfortable about it all and could see Arnold was feeling exactly the same way

"Right" Kristine announced "I'm on duty tomorrow morning, I need to get to bed now"

"Okay" Arnold smiled "see you in the morning Kriss" Arnold tried to walk out and not let Yvonne say goodbye but, like most plans thought up by Arnold Judas Rimmer, it didn't work.

"Arnie" Yvonne cooed, "You can't go without saying goodnight to me"

"Sorry" Arnold reluctantly pushed himself to stagger over to her. He raised his arms to give her a hug and immediately wished he hadn't. She jumped onto him – obviously trying to show off – and shoved her tongue down his throat. Dave simply walked over to Kristine to give her a big hug and a tender kiss."

"See you tomorrow gorgeous" he cooed "don't work too hard"

"I won't" Kristine answered "night"

The boys left the room leaving the girls alone. Kristine had a quick shower before slipping into her very short fuchsia pink nightie and climbed into bed. She thought about whether she should talk to Yvonne about the way she had acted throughout the evening, but couldn't make up her mind. It turned out that she didn't need to think about it at all because Yvonne made up her mind for her.

"Kriss" Yvonne started "why didn't Arnold want to say goodbye?"

"Well" Kristine thought about her answer carefully "you were all over me a bit, maybe he was jealous"

Yvonne didn't respond, Kristine knew why, she had hit a nerve, a very sensitive nerve. It was starting to sink in to Kristine's brain that Yvonne thought highly of Kristine, maybe even had feelings for her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six 

Kristine sleepily rolled over and stared at the clock. She read that it was 10 o'clock straight away but it didn't sink in for a few seconds that this meant she was late, when she finally realised she went into a panic

"HOLY SMEG" she yelled "I'm late"

"Morning Kriss" Yvonne sighed sweetly "sleep well?"

"You're up?" Kristine asked, "How long have you been awake?"

"Since you're alarm woke me" Yvonne answered in a playful fighting kind of way "I can't believe you slept through it, it's so loud"

"I slept through it?" Kristine asked, "Why did you let me sleep through it?"

"I didn't want to wake you, you were sleeping so sweetly"

"Yvonne, i…" Kristine paused "I haven't got time for this, I've got to get to work"

Kristine got dressed as quickly as she could and ran down to the console

"You're late" Hollister demanded "Why?"

"I'm sorry" Kristine apologised "I slept through my alarm"

"It's not good enough Kochanski" Hollister shouted, "You should be here on time"

"I know sir" Kristine answered, "I'm sorry"

"I'm going to have to give you a written warning"

"Sir no" Kristine pleaded, "This is my first time"

"Kochanski, I'm sorry, I don't want to but…"

"Then don't" Kristine pleaded "please, give me one more chance, I wont let you down again, captain I promise"

"Okay" Hollister agreed "but once more and there'll be no more second chances"

"Thank you" Kristine answered, "I promise, captain, I will never ever let you down again"

"Okay" Captain Hollister smiled "what have I missed"

Three hours later after a long tedious talk Kristine Kochanski emerged from the teaching room, her jaw was so wide open a whole salami could have fit down there.

"Wow" Kristine gasped as she walked into her quarters "that's amazing"

"What" Yvonne asked hopefully "what is it?" So many possibilities were flooding into Yvonne's mind, was Kristine pregnant, had she discovered she was gay, had Dave eaten something other than a Vindaloo?

"We're going home" Kristine responded "after all these years we're finally going back to earth"

Yvonne's face dropped from hope to dread, this was not good. First of all this meant that Kristine and Dave had more freedom to move in together, but more importantly Yvonne McGruder may never see Kristine Kochanski again. Kristine wouldn't be there when Yvonne woke up, she wouldn't be there when Yvonne woke up, she wouldn't be there when Yvonne woke up, she wouldn't be a caring pair of ears to be listened to, she wouldn't be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.

"When?" Yvonne gasped, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see Dave" Kristine answered "I'll see you later"

Yvonne waited until Kristine had left the room before sitting down on Kristine's bed. Yvonne picked up the covers and buried her head in them. Kristine's smell flooded Yvonne's nostrils and teardrops fell into the material. Yvonne McGruder had finally found at most a potential partner and at least the bestest friend she could ever have, and now, less than two months later Kristine Kochanski was being taken away from Yvonne McGruder by the works of fate. Smegging typical.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven 

"That's right" Kristine watched Dave's bottom jaw sink like the titanic "we're going home"

"Did you hear that, Rimmer?" Dave gasped, "We're going back to earth"

"I know" Arnold answered, "I heard Kochanski tell you"

"I told Yvonne too" Kristine smiled

"What did she say?" Arnold enquired

"Nothing" Kristine responded, "just asked me where I was going next"

Suddenly Dave's face lifted again and a smile emerged

"Kristine" Dave asked "when we get back to earth…" Dave didn't know how Kristine was going to react to his question so he took a deep breath and just asked her "… will you move in with me?"

"Oh, Dave" Kristine answered "I…"

"Don't answer now" Dave smiled "think about it"

"Okay" Kristine answered, "I think about it I promise!"

Kristine stuck to her word, for the next seven days that's all she did think about. When she was on duty she thought about how wonderful it would be, when she was off duty she wondered whether it was a good idea and when she was drinking in the pub she wondered what her parents would think about it. They would never approve, they wanted her to be with a high flyer in the Space Core. Not the lowest rank on the ship.

Kristine was mid thought when she was called into a very important meeting. In the meeting she managed to keep her attention on what was being said, which was a small miracle. The only reason she actually paid any attention during the meeting was because within the first five minutes he had told them that because of how well this mission had gone. Every one on the ship was awarded three years off.

"Three years" Kristine gasped, "is that paid leave?"

"Yes Kochanski" Hollister answered "three years paid leave"

the rest of the meeting simply told them that their next of kin had been informed of their return and they would be called up again in three years time.

The news spread like wildfire through both the 'grapevine' and official meetings. The last week of the mission went so quickly and before they knew it they were standing in the arrivals bay in terminal seven of the Jupiter Mining Cooperation Head Quarters, London, England. Huddled in one corner of the room were Kristine Kochanski, Yvonne McGruder, Arnold Rimmer and Dave Lister.

"You haven't answered my question" Dave reminded Kristine "will you move in with me?"

"Not yet Dave" Kristine answered "can we date properly for a while first?"

"Sure" Dave responded obviously very disappointed "if that's what you want"

"How are we going to keep in contact?" Yvonne asked generally "let's go and get mobiles now" Dave suggested, "We'll swap mobile numbers"

Since their last 'visit' to earth The Jupiter Mining Cooperation had rented some of their building out to the Car phone Warehouse. The four of them went in and bought a mobile phone each. They swapped their new numbers and waited for their next of kin. Three hours later the four of them were still waiting. Eventually Kristine's father turned up

"Hey Krissie" Mr. Jonathan Kochanski sung, "How are you?"

"Dad" Kristine ran into her father's arms and held him tight "I missed you"

"I missed you too darling" Mr Kochanski smiled "I'm sorry I'm late, I lost track of time and then when Rosie got back I came out to get you"

"This…" Kristine grabbed Yvonne's arm and pulled her forward "is my best friend Yvonne McGruder"

Yvonne and Mr. K shook hands "this" Kristine pointed to Arnold "is Arnold Rimmer, Yvonne's boyfriend"

"Nice to meet you Arnold, Yvonne" Mr. K smiled

"Now this…" Kristine pulled Dave forward and took a deep breath "… is my new boyfriend, Dad, this is Dave Lister"

Mr. Kochanski forced a smile as he stared at Dave. His Rasta plaits fell both in front of and behind his shoulders. He was wearing his read London Jets Zero Gravity football t-shirt with curry stains all over the front. His khaki combat trousers had tea stains all over the crotch and it terribly like something slightly less desirable than tea. His greying black leather jacket was cracked and torn at one arm, it just sat on his shoulders

"Not wearing your uniform David?" Mr. K asked

"I don't' wear it anymore than I have to" Dave answered, "it makes me itch"

Mr K looked at Kristine Yvonne and Arnold in their smart Red Dwarf uniforms. "What do you do then David?"

"Third technician" Dave answered "and call me Dave"

"What rank is that?" Mr K paused "Dave"

"I rank 169" Dave smirked "that's the lowest"

Mr. K shot a look of disappointment over to his eldest daughter and looked back at Dave "do you have anywhere to stay?"

"No sir" Dave answered "no where"

"Where were you planning on staying?"

"I'll find a comfortable park bench somewhere"

"It's okay" Mr K told him "I won't have you out on your own at night, you can sleep in the spare room tonight, come on"

"See ya Kriss" Yvonne shouted, "I'll call you"

"Yeah" Kristine gave Yvonne a hug "speak soon"

Kristine and Dave jumped into the chauffer driven black Mercedes stretch Limousine followed by Mr K

"I've never been in a stretch limo before" Dave commented en route "it's nice"

Dave knew that Mr K wasn't very happy with Kristine's choice of partner. In fact Mr K was furious with it but not as to be rude he carried on asking questions

"Dave" he asked, "when's your birthday?"

"I don't know" Dave answered, "I was abandoned"

"Abandoned?" Mr K gasped "why?"

"I don't know" Dave wiped the tears from his face "no one ever told me"

the rest of the journey went past in silence when they eventually got to the Kochanski family's six bedroom mini-mansion you could hear Mrs. Kochanski yelling from the end of the very long driveway.

"I guess Rosie told mum about the baby" Kristine sighed "and I bet mum went mad"

"Well can you blame her, Kristine?" Mr. K asked, "She was silly enough to fail her exams and become a waitress, if she'd have been like you…"

"She's not me, Dad" Kristine interrupted "when are you going to understand that, she's not going to become a high flyer like me, its not her personality, she's going to need a lot of help with this baby"

"You are not putting your career on hold, Kristine" Mr. K insisted "she's the one who got herself pregnant, she's a failure"

"No she's not, dad" Kristine would defend Rosie to the end, she understood that her younger sister was good at some things, but not at the same things as Kristine "you should be proud of Rosie, just like you are proud of me and Moose"

Moose was the youngest of the Kochanskis and the longed for little boy. Moose got away with everything, including living on his parents

"You're proud of Moose" Kristine pleaded "and he just eats, drinks and smokes away your money"

"He's my son" Mr K answered softly "I'll always be proud of him"

Kristine was shocked by her father's attitude; she knew that her father treated them all differently. Kristine was the eldest of the Kochanski children and the brightest of them too. Moose, or Matthew wasn't very bright and always got his own way. Rosie was the middle child and the Kochanski's were so disappointed that they didn't get a little boy. Dave just sat there and took it all in, during the conversation his facial expression changed many times from happiness to sadness, shock to smirk and astonishment to humour.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight 

Dave and Kristine exchanged looks and mentally braced themselves for what was coming next. Mrs Victoria Kochanski was very career minded and wanted her kids to do well. She loved Kristine, Rosalind and Matthew all exactly the same, she didn't love them at all. In her mind babies and children were something that you had to have not something to wanted to have. Mrs K got very cross if her children didn't succeed in their chosen career, but she had given up with Moose, he was a boy and boys don't work, in her mind, she was very happy with Kristine, she was a high flyer in the Space Core but Rosalind, to Mrs. Kochanski, was a complete and utter failure! Luckily for Kristine and Dave the argument between Rosie and Mrs K had finished.

"Kristine" Mrs Kochanski exclaimed, "How are you?"

"Fine thanks, mum" Kristine answered "you"

"Fine" Mrs K burned to Dave "who's this?"

"This is Dave" Kristine answered nervously "he's my boyfriend"

Mrs. Kochanski looked up and down at Dave Lister in exactly the same way Mr. Kochanski had just a short time ago and saw exactly the same picture of him.

"Your boyfriend?" Mrs K gasped "why are you with this?"

"His name is Dave, Mum" Kristine told her "and I love him"

"What's he doing here anyway?" Mrs K asked "I said he could sleep in our spare room" Mr, K answered "he didn't have anywhere else"

"Dave" Mrs. K started "could you leave us alone, we need to talk to our daughter"

"Sure" Dave answered, "can you tell me where to go?"

"Jonathan will take you into the lounge"

Mr K escorted Dave out of the room.

Kristine sat down at the breakfast bar ready for a fully blown argument with her mother

"Kristine" Mrs. K sighed "Kristine, Kristine, Kristine"

"what mum?" Kristine asked "what do you want?"

"What job does he do?" Mrs. K demanded, "What rank is he?"

"Third technician" Kristine answered "rank 169"

"How the hell did you meet him?"

"At the disco one night"

"Why did you agree to go out with him?"

"He's gorgeous, mum, he treats me well and he loves me"

"But look at him, Kristine" he's a slob"

"He's an excellent lover, he knows exactly what I want and how to give it to me" Kristine surprised herself, never before had she been so open with her mum, but it all came out, she was trying to prove her love to Dave and she was talking to her mum about sex?

"You're sleeping with him?" Mrs Kochanski screamed "oh, Kristine"

"What's wrong with mum? I love him"

"You're going to end up like your sister"

"We're taking precautions, I'm on the pill, and anyway there's nothing wrong with Rosie"

"She's pregnant with no man about, I feel for that child"

"I feel for Rosie and the baby, you should too!"

Mrs. Kochanski didn't go any further with the argument about Rosie, she knew deep down that Kristine was right, but Mrs. Kochanski didn't' like being proved wrong.

"So how long have you been with Derek then?" Mrs. Kochanski asked obviously changing the subject

"It's Dave actually," Kristine snapped "and we've been together on and off for about a year"

"Oh" Mrs. K thought about this "a year?"

"Yes mum"

"How long have you been sleeping with him?"

"I told you, a year"

"You jumped into bed with him as soon as you went out with him?"

"No, we'd been together a week"

"My God" Mrs Victoria Kochanski fell into the kitchen chair that was lucky to be sitting behind her "my daughters are sluts!"

The hurt in Kristine's face was apparent and she didn't say a word. Simply walked out of the room.

Kristine felt a tear in her eye as she stormed into Dave in the living room

"You okay angel?" Dave asked cautiously, he knew how Kristine got when she was upset "what's wrong?"

"She called me a slut" Kristine sobbed, "She called me a slut"

"Why?" Dave asked her "she doesn't seem to be that type of person"

"Well she is" Kristine snapped, "She's a horrible, horrible mother"

"I'm sorry angel" Dave hugged Kristine and held onto her tight "why does she think you're a slut?"

"Because I've been sleeping with you"

"Did she actually say 'Kristine, you are a slut', did she actually say that?"

"She said 'both of my daughters are sluts' so no, not in so many words, both of us"

"Neither of you are sluts" Dave assured her "you're both lovely girls who care about themselves. I love you Kristine, I love you so much!"

"I can't cope Dave" she sobbed "I hate the fact that she sees us as sluts"

"You don't have to live here y'know"

"Where else is there, baby?"

"Come live with me"

"You've got nowhere to live"

"We'll find somewhere, I'll start looking tomorrow and we can choose one together"

"Okay" Kristine smiled "We'll move in together, but we can't tell my parents until it's official and we've found somewhere"

"Okay"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine 

Three hours later and Yvonne and Arnold were still waiting. Terminal Seven of the Jupiter Mining Co-Operation Head Quarters, London, England was now locked up and Arnold and Yvonne were now sitting outside. Suddenly Mr. Paul McGruder pulled up

"Daddy" Yvonne shouted "why are you so late?"

"I forgot, darling" Mr. McGruder answered, "I'm sorry precious"

Yvonne was the youngest of four girls; she was the baby of the family, a spoilt daddy's girl. Yvonne's sisters all did different things. Jasmine was a teacher married to another teacher and they had Lorena, the 'perfect' child. Rebecca, or Becky as she was known was a professional artist; she was a single mother to Emily, Rachel and James. And there was Natasha she worked in River Island.

"How is everyone?" Yvonne hugged her father as he got out of the car "how's mum and my sisters"

"They're okay" Mr. McGruder looked at Arnold "who's this?"

"Arnold Rimmer" Yvonne smiled "he's my boyfriend"

"Arnold?" Mr McGruder held out his hand "hello son"

"Son?" Arnold smiled "no one's ever called me that before"

"Can Arnold come home with us, Daddy?" Yvonne fluttered her eyelids

"Okay precious" Mr McGruder smiled and hugged his daughter

"It's okay" Arnold interrupted "I don't want to put anyone out, I'll go home"

"You know you're not wanted at home baby" Yvonne rubbed Arnold's arm "come to mine, with me and daddy, where you are wanted, please Arnold, come with us"

"Okay" Arnold agreed "thank you baby, thank you Mr. McGruder"

"Call me Paul" Mr McGruder told him

"Thank you, Paul" Arnold felt wanted for the first time in his life "let's go then"

Paul, Arnold and Yvonne clambered into Paul's car. The first few minutes of the journey were silent until Arnold asked a question that just a few minutes later, he would regret. The question was

"Are all your sisters going to be at home, I've forgotten their names?"

"jasmine and Becky wont be" Yvonne answered "but Natasha will be"

"okay" Arnold answered. It wasn't the answer Yvonne gave that made Arnold wish he'd never asked it was the question that came from Mr. Paul McGruder

"Have you got any siblings?"

Arnold's mood dropped like a stone, Yvonne could see that he was about to cry and wanted to rewind the last few minutes. She couldn't do that so instead she tried to stop the conversation.

"Don't daddy" she begged

"What?" Paul asked, a bit on the defensive "what have I done wrong?"

"It's okay Yvonne" Arnold rubbed her leg "I can tell him"

"Tell me what?" Paul was getting concerned, what could he have said to offend poor Arnold; family was a wonderful thing, to Paul anyway!

"I've got three brothers" Arnold complained, "John, Frank and Howard, they're all older than me and more successful"

"How strange" Paul giggled, "you're the youngest of four boys, Yvonne's the youngest of four girls" he shook his head "do you get on with your brothers?"

"No way" Arnold shook his head vigorously "they don't like me, I'm a disappointment"

"Oh, Arnold" Paul sympathised "I'm sure you're not a disappointment"

"I am" Arnold sulked "my parents told me so"

"Well" Paul smiled "if you're good enough for Yvonne, you're good enough for us"

"Thank you, Paul," Arnold smiled "that means a lot"

The journey from the Jupiter Mining Co-Operation building to the McGruder's home wasn't very long. As they pulled up the drive nine bodies were standing outside the McGruder's three-bedroom semi-detached house

"Wow" Yvonne giggled, "Everyone's here to meet us!"

"Yeah" Paul smiled "didn't I tell you everyone was at home?"

"No!" Yvonne giggled knowing that her father hadn't told her on purpose "but I'm glad you didn't tell me!" Suddenly Yvonne noticed another body in the line-up. A tiny baby in Natasha's arms "Who's baby is Natasha holding?"

"That's Llewellyn" Paul answered Natasha's baby"

"Natasha's got a baby boy?"

"Yeah, Llewellyn, he's three weeks old"

"Wow" Yvonne looked at Arnold "I didn't even know she was pregnant!"

Yvonne got out of the car and went straight over to Natasha and baby Llewellyn, Natasha and Yvonne were the closets of all the McGruder sisters, but the fact that baby Llewellyn, or Lewie, was here meant that Yvonne would want to spend as much time as possible helping Natasha with him.

"Welcome home Yvonne" everyone screamed at once

"Thank you" Yvonne smiled "I'd like every one to meet Arnold…" she pulled him forward "… my new boyfriend"

"Hello everyone" Arnold smiled nervously "it's good to meet you all!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten 

Kristine sat on her bed with her head in her hands. Her bedroom was still in the exactly the same state as she left it in all those years ago. Her baby pink silk duvet was positioned perfectly on her king size double bed and thought about what she really wanted. She loved Dave and to be with him was exactly what she wanted but it was all going a bit too fast for Kristine. Suddenly an idea came to her a way to keep Dave happy and to make sure she was happy too. A way of living with him, without actually living with him in the serious sense of the word. If she could convince Yvonne and Arnold to move in with them too that might be easier.

"Hello baby" Dave looked around him "wow, you've got a lovely room"

"Thank you" Kristine giggled "I chose it myself when I was seven"

"I wish I could have a bedroom like yours" Dave rubbed Kristine's leg

"It's pink, you want a pink bedroom?"

"No, I want one that's decorated in my way?"

"How did you have your bedroom when you were little then?"

"White" Dave wiped a tear from his eyes "I lived in a children's home, there were eight of us in a room this size"

"Eight?" Kristine was shocked, "eight in one room?"

"Yeah"

"I'm sorry, Dave, I didn't know it was that cramped"

"It's okay, just promise me that you'll always be grateful for how lucky you were to be treated to all this wonderful stuff! Remember that there are children out there who didn't have anything like this and would have given anything for just their own space"

"I will precious" Kristine gave Dave a big hug "I've been thinking"

"Oh yeah" Dave giggled "are you sure you're okay"

"I've been thinking" Kristine said in her 'no Dave, this is serious' voice

"Sorry Kriss, what have you been thinking about?"

"Why don't we ask Yvonne and Arnold to move in with us"

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel ready to move in with you alone"

"Oh, okay"

"I'll still sleep in the same bed as you"

"Okay"

"You're not angry?"

"No, you ask the others"

"Thank you Dave, that means a hell of a lot to me, I love you"

"I love you too"

Just at that moment Kristine's mobile phone went off. Excitedly she picked it up.

"Hello?" she looked at Dave "sure Yvonne, come to us, we need to speak to you anyway"

"So they're coming here then?" Dave complained

"Yes"

"Wonderful"

"Sorry darling"

Yvonne and Arnold were round in fifteen minutes. Within another twenty minutes Yvonne had sat herself down on Kristine's bed relegating poor Dave to the floor.

"What's wrong then Yvonne?" Kristine asked, "Why did you need to get out of your house?"

"I've lost my bedroom" Yvonne complained "to Llewellyn"

"Who's Llewellyn?" Kristine asked her

"Natasha's new baby boy, Llewellyn"

"So where are you sleeping tonight?"

"On the sofa"

"We had an idea" Dave interrupted "didn't we Kriss?"

"Yeah" Kristine smiled "we'd like to move in together, but we can't afford to on our own, will you move in with us too?"

"Sure" Yvonne agreed maybe a bit too quickly "we'd love to live with you, both"

"Yeah" Arnold agreed reluctantly "why not?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven 

Three weeks passed and the four of them moved into a lovely ground floor two bedroom flat in the middle of the nice part of town. Kristine and Dave's room was already painted in a very light lilac with a dark purple carpet so Kristine had gone out and purchased a dark purple duvet and pillow cases in silk and a purple cotton sheet. Yvonne and Arnold's room was painted white so Yvonne decided to go out and buy sunshine yellow cotton bedclothes. The carpet was also white so the room looked like one giant fried egg.

Dave was sitting on his bed in the dark watching a London Jets Zero Gravity Football game with Jim Bexley Speed in the team. He heard the bedroom door open and looked to see what was there. In the doorframe was the shadowy figure of a woman. Dave had already worked out that it could only have been two women because there were only two women living there, Kristine or Yvonne. Dave didn't think it was Yvonne; she wasn't interested in him, not any more. Whoever it was wasn't wearing very much. Dave remembered the time Kristine dressed up for him, that made him very hard but it was okay because he was thinking of Kristine and even if it was Yvonne in the doorway it wasn't Yvonne in Dave's head. Dave took another look of the shadowy figure in the little dress and thought that it was quite safe to assume that it was Kristine, after all the woman had Kristine's body shape. He thought again and decided he could just ask her so he did

"Kriss" Dave called "is that you?"

"Turn on your bedside light," a voice whispered. Dave did as he was told, "Now look at me"

Dave turned his head to the doorframe. At this point Kristine's back was towards him and she was shutting the door, but it was definitely her. As she turned round to face Dave he gasped. His wonderful girlfriend was standing in front of him dressed in a very sexy piece of lingerie. The little dress was jet black and only just covered her. Her strappy sandals were also jet black and so high it made her legs look twice as long as they actually were and her face was made up perfectly.

"Kristine" Dave gasped, smiling "you look gorgeous"

"Thank you baby" Kristine smiled "you look wonderful too"

"Do you want to?" Dave asked, "Can we have sex?"

"of course" Kristine giggled "that's the idea"

"You don't have to dress up like that to turn me on"

"I know" Kristine answered "I just wanted to do something nice for you"

"Thank you" Dave smiled his cheeky grin "you are very sexy, y'know, miss Kochanski"

"I know" Kristine answered, "I know"

Kristine laid on the bed and opened her legs. Dave got himself hard and laid on top of her

"do you want this Krissie?"

"Yes please" Kristine begged, "I really want to be with you know, I really want to show you how I feel about you"

"How do you feel about me then?"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"Now then David Lister, give me what I want"

"Did you see Kriss?" Yvonne asked Arnold after the door was shut and Dave and Kristine were safely tucked up in bed fucking each other's brains out "she looked good didn't she"

"Yeah" Arnold half agreed, "She looked nice"

"Wonderful" Yvonne responded, "She's a really good looking woman"

"What are you saying?" Arnold asked obviously concerned "why are you so interested in Kriss?"

"She's gorgeous" Yvonne responded, "I wish I was as gorgeous as her"

"Yvonne" Arnold stopped her "you are so much more gorgeous and pretty than Kristine. Yvonne baby, I love you"

"I love you too, Arnold, but that doesn't mean I feel sexy"

"Why don't you dress like Kristine to try and feel sexy"

"I can't" Yvonne confessed "I like to keep myself covered up, I feel so ugly and fat if I'm on show"

"oh Yvonne" Arnold felt really bad "you're not ugly and you're certainly not fat"

"I know you love me" Yvonne smiled "but I want to feel sexy with you"

"It's because we haven't been sleeping together isn't it"

"I don't know baby" Yvonne sobbed, "I haven't got a clue"

"Shall we try?" Arnold smiled "shall we try to do what they're doing"

"You mean sex?"

"Yeah, why not"

"We haven't done in since the time Kriss and Dave walked in on us"

"That was nearly two moths ago, Yvonne"

"Exactly, that's what I'm saying. I'm…" Yvonne took a deep breath "I'm nervous"

"Nervous, why?"

"I don't remember whether I satisfied you or not"

"Of course you did" Arnold smiled as the memory of that evening flowed through his head "it was lovely, don't you remember?"

"Yeah" Yvonne giggled "so do you want to sleep with me now?"

"Of course I do" Arnold gave Yvonne a big hug and a very, very passionate kiss. The room went silent and all Yvonne and Arnold could hear was Kristine and Dave's bed squeaking and Kristine moaning in ultimate pleasure.

"They're certainly giving it a go" Arnold giggled, "Kriss' loud, isn't she?"

"Yeah" Yvonne agreed "okay! Let's take a leaf out of their book"

Yvonne didn't need to tell Arnold twice. He took his clothes off and jumped into the bed

"Wow" Yvonne giggled, "That was quick"

"I know" Arnold smiled "I'm always quick"

In Kristine and Dave's room thee hours later they had finished

"Wow" Kristine gasped, "That was wonderful"

"I'm glad you're satisfied" Dave giggled, "I love you"

"I love you too!"

Yvonne and Arnold didn't quite last the three hours that Kristine and Dave had, in fact they didn't even last forty-five minutes.

"I'm sorry darling" Arnold sobbed "I'm so sorry"

"What for baby?" Yvonne put her arm around him

"For not lasting for you" Arnold looked at Yvonne "Dave always lasts for Kriss"

"You're not Dave," Yvonne told him "but that's okay because I want you, Arnold, not Dave"

"Are you sure?"

"Oh, yes, positive"

Kristine got out of bed put her sexy nightdress and dressing gown back on and walked out to the living room. Dave had gone back to watching the London Jets Zero Gravity Football game and Kristine wasn't the least bit interested in Zero Gravity Football so she decided that going out to the living room to watch some proper television would be the best thing she could do at this point. Yvonne must've heard the television go on because she came out too.

"Hello" Kristine said softly, smiling at her best friend "are you okay?"

"Yes" Yvonne giggled, "I'm fabulous"

"Why?" Kristine asked, "What have you been up too?"

"I've had sex" Yvonne grinned "with Arnold"

"Wow" Kristine smiled "how long as it been?"

"Two months" Yvonne sighed "but we've made an agreement"

"Oh yeah, what's that"

"We're going to sleep together once a week, I can't wait"

"Good for you"

"Kriss, how often do you sleep with Dave?"

"Every day, sometimes twice or three times a day"

"Wow, I wish Arnold and I did it that often"

"You two will one day, Yvonne" Kristine promised "once you get used to having sex with each other again, it'll happen"

"I hope so, Kristine, I really do"

"Did you enjoy it?" Kristine asked "the sex, did you enjoy the sex?"

"Oh yes" Yvonne's grin grew and grew "it was so amazing, so romantic"

Kristine smiled "we'll good for you"

"so how was yours?"

"My what?"

"Sex, with Dave"

"Oh, wonderful, but then again, it always is"

"Wow, doesn't it get boring?"

"No, because its so amazing, if its that wonderful and meant to be you'll never get bored"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve 

"Oh, Yvonne" Kristine moaned as Yvonne stroked her leg "that's really nice"

"I know my love" Yvonne smiled "I knew you wanted me"

"This is between you and me, yes" Kristine clarified "promise me you wont tell the boys"

"I promise" Yvonne answered "I wouldn't risk loosing this"

"Who's going first Yvonne?"

"I'll do it to you if you want"

"Okay, thank you"

Kristine removed her sexy lingerie and lay naked on Yvonne's bed. Neither of them knew where the boys were and at this very moment, they didn't care, they were only interested in each other. Yvonne lay on top of Kristine and gave her a full on French kiss. as this was happening Yvonne put her hand on Kristine's clitoris and started playing with it. This made both of them moan in pleasure as Kristine's virgina was flooded with her own sexual juices. Yvonne shoved her fingers into Kristine, pulled them straight out and went down on her. Kristine screamed in pleasure as Yvonne's tongue tapped on her clit. If the boys were in the house they would have heard Kristine's moans but she didn't' care, she was happy. Just as Kristine was getting to the point of immense pleasure there was a knock at the door

"Yvonne" a voice called "wake up, it's getting late"

Yvonne's eyes opened and she saw the side of her bedside table. She rolled over and looked at the other side of the bed, Kristine wasn't there and neither was Arnold, the bed was empty. The voice spoke again, Yvonne would recognise that voice anywhere, she had just heard it in her dream; it was definitely Kristine's voice calling her

"Yvonne" she called "are you coming to the shops with me?"

Yvonne thought about this for a few minutes was it a dream, it seemed so real, but it wasn't Yvonne's subconscious was telling her something, she enjoyed sex with Arnold but it was nothing compared with the way she felt pleasuring Kristine in her dream. Suddenly Kristine opened the door

"oh, Yvonne" Kristine was shocked "I didn't realise you were still in bed"

"It's okay, Kristine, I was having a lovely dream that's why I was still in bed"

"Oh, are you coming shopping with me?"

"What are you going to get?"

"I don't know, I'm just going to browse"

"Okay" Yvonne agreed "I'll come with you"

Yvonne and Kristine had a wonderful time at the shops, they didn't buy much but they enjoyed themselves enough. When they returned the boys were still out. Yvonne saw this as the perfect opportunity to see how Kristine felt about her.

"Kristine" Yvonne started "do you enjoy spending time with me?"

"Yes" Kristine answered "you're my best friend, of course I enjoy spending time with you"

"Really?" Yvonne smiled "you like spending time with me?"

"Yeah" Kristine gave Yvonne a hug "I don't know what I'd do without you, you are my best friend and I love you"

"I love you too, Kriss, I love you so much"

Yvonne was contemplating giving Kristine the kiss that she had during the dream but before she could make up her mind Dave and Arnold returned home.

"Hey baby" Kristine got up from where she was sitting with Yvonne, ran straight up to Dave and gave him one of the biggest kisses of both their relationship and his life. Yvonne felt really bad and upset. She was so annoyed with herself for not going in for the kiss, if she had Dave would have seen it and that would've been the end of them. She was so jealous of Dave; he got to have proper sex with Kristine not just dream sex.

Yvonne's thoughts took her back to her dream. The wonderful feeling of Kristine's clit on her tongue made her so horny. Yvonne needed sex, she needed to have some form of release for all the feelings inside her. in a perfect would it would be Kristine that she walked over to and whispered in her ear begging for sex, but it wasn't. if Yvonne really wanted sex she'd have to ask Arnold, but she did need it and suddenly she changed her mind, she wanted Arnold as much as she wanted Kristine. Arnold did turn her on as much, she wasn't a lesbian, she was bisexual so men had as good a chance as women. Right now Yvonne was as happy with Arnold as she would have been with Kristine. Yvonne's only worry was that Kristine didn't know that Yvonne was interested in her. Without telling Kristine this, Yvonne was possibly denying her an opportunity to be the happiest she could be. what if Kristine was a lesbian or bisexual and she just didn't' have the courage to speak up? Everyone deserved the chance to be as happy as possible. Yvonne convinced herself that if Kristine knew all the information on how both she and Dave felt about her then she could make an informed decision on who she really wanted to be with. There was just one problem. Would Yvonne have the courage to tell Kristine?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen 

1.30 am, the home phone in the flat was ringing Kristine and Dave woke up but didn't get to it quick enough so they rolled back over and tried to get back to sleep. Dave managed it but Kristine didn't. As she tried Yvonne opened the door.

"Kristine" Yvonne called "it's your sister, she says she's gone into labour"

"Typical" Kristine muttered to herself "it would be today wouldn't it"

"She says it's the real thing" Yvonne assured her "she says she's 100 sure"

"Alright" Kristine sighed "I'm up now" she took the phone from Yvonne "hello Rosie" she paused "hold on, I'll put you on speaker" she looked at the phone and pushed a button labelled 'hand's free' "go on then Rosie"

"I've started" Rosie sobbed over the phone "and mum and dad say they're not going to take me to the hospital"

"Why not?" Kristine asked her

"Because they want nothing to do with the baby"

"What about Moose?"

"It's half past one in the morning, Moose is not going to get up, you know that!

"Okay" Kristine sighed, "I'll jump in the car, I wont be long" Kristine put the phone down and smiled "Dave…" she pleaded

"I'll get dressed" Dave sighed

"I'm going back to bed" Yvonne interrupted "if you need us call us"

"Yeah, thanks Yvonne" Kristine got up and gave Yvonne the biggest hug ever

"I'm ready" Dave jumped up "ready when you are"

"Thank you" Kristine gave him a hug "I'm so sorry about this"

"No bother" Dave looked at Kristine "I love you so much y'know"

"I know" Kristine leant forward to kiss him "I love you too"

When the two of them arrived Rosie was in advanced labour on the top step of the Kochanski mini-mansion.

"Oh my god" Kristine sighed "she's having the baby on the steps"

"Come on" Dave opened his car door "if we get to her quickly we might be able to get her to the hospital"

Kristine ran over to her sister while Dave walked behind. Nothing would have prepared Kristine for the sight that met her

"Dave" Kristine called "phone for an ambulance, I can see the baby's head"

"What?" Rosie started to panic "you can see the baby's head?"

"Yeah" Kristine said softly "here hold my hand and push"

Rosie did as she was told and gradually the first of Paul and Victoria Kochanski's grandchildren made it's way into the world a full five minutes turned up.

"It's a baby girl" Kristine cried, "Rosie, you've got a beautiful little girl"

"I'm going to call her Aimée-Leigh" Rosie told Kristine "Aimée-Leigh Kristine Kochanski, because you brought her into the world, I couldn't have done it without you"

"Rosie" Kristine knew the subject of Aimée-Leigh's father was a bit of a raw nerve for Rosie but Kristine was determined to find out his identity "Aimée-Leigh's father…"

"It's Hollister" Rosie interrupted "but I don't want him to know about Aimée-Leigh at all, I don't want him involved"

"I think you need to tell him" Kristine suggested "you can get some child support from him"

"I don't want his money, Kristine, I want to look after Aimée-Leigh myself"

"Rosie, where are you going to live?"

"At home, with mum and dad, they're not going to throw me out"

"You don't know that Rosie"

"I'll come and live with you then, Kriss"

"I'm sorry Rosie, but no you can't"

"Why not?"

"There isn't any room"

"Oh,"

"I really think you need to talk to Frank"

"I can't" Rosie pleaded, "I don't have his number"

"It's okay Rosie, I've got it"

Kristine put her hand into her bag and pulled out her mobile phone and company phone list

"You can't use that in here" the paramedic informed her

"I'll call him later" she told Rosie "I promise"

For the rest of the journey everyone was in complete silence. The only sound in the ambulance was the radio but that didn't go off very much. When they arrived at the hospital Kristine simply settled Rosie and baby Aimée-Leigh into maternity before dashing off to tall Captain Hollister.

Kristine came back half an hour later with Dave and Captain Hollister in tow

"Here he is, Rosie" Kristine pulled Hollister's arm forcing him to shuffle forwards "the father of your baby"

"Hello Rosalind" Hollister forced a smile "what is the baby's name?"

"Aimée-Leigh" Rosie answered, "Her middle name is Kristine"

"That's a beautiful name" Hollister put his finger on Aimée-Leigh's cheek "I can't believe how much I love her, thank you Rosie"

"It's okay" Rosie smiled "I love her too"

"Here" Hollister wrote Rosie a cheque for £300 "buy something for Aimée-Leigh, if you need any more let me know"

"Thank you, but you really don't have too"

"But Rosie, I want too"

They stayed at the hospital until they were politely asked to leave by the nurses. They dropped Hollister off at home before going back to their cosy flat. Kristine and Dave went into their room and simultaneously collapsed on the bed

"It's been a long day" Kristine complained "a very long day"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen 

Kristine lay awake for the night, thinking. Thinking about Rosie and Hollister. It was all Kristine's fault that her baby sister was used in that way. If Kristine hadn't agreed to go on that trip none of this would have happened. But then again, if she hadn't gone then there would be no Dave and with Dave she was the happiest she had ever been. Kristine decided that the pros weighed out the cons.

Dave rolled over and looked at Kristine. He could see her wonderful mind working away. When Kristine was thinking about something important she had a natural 'I'm a professional' look on her face. She could only make that face when she was thinking and as Dave thought this was one of the sexiest faces ever he tried to simply stare at Kristine without disturbing her for as long as possible. Unfortunately on this occasion Dave didn't' disturb her. Instead Kristine finished thinking.

"Everything okay, Dave?" she whispered softly "please tell me if something's wrong"

"I'm fine darling" Dave promised, "You know I would tell you if anything was bothering me"

"Okay" Kristine whispered in the same soft tone "I love you"

"I love you too darling" Dave rubbed her cheeks "I could see you thinking, is everything okay?"

"Sure, I was just thinking about Rosie and Aimée-Leigh"

"She's a beautiful baby Krissie"

"I know Dave, I know"

"Why don't we have one?"

"Why?"

"It's prime time Kristine, we've got three years off and then when we go back it'll be nearly two"

"I just don't think we're ready Dave"

"Why not, you love me and I love you, I want to be a daddy and I know you want to be a mummy"

"Yeah, I do but are we ready as a couple? I don't want us to break up and leave the baby with a broken home"

"That won't happen Kriss!"

"How do you know? And anyway what about my parents? We're not married! They would never approve!"

"Let's get married then"

"I don't think they'd approve of that either"

"So?" Dave pulled Kristine's face to look at him "Kristine Kochanski you have spent your life doing things for your parents and making them happy. Now it's your turn to be happy and if they don't approve that's their problem. They don't approve of me and you're happy aren't you?"

"You know I am"

"So if in this instance going against you has made you happy why not do it again, why not become a mummy with me as the daddy, why not live your life the way you want too instead of living it the way they do, have a baby with me Kristine, give me a daughter or son, I know its exactly what you want and you know its exactly what I want, so why not?"

"I don't know, Dave, I'll think about it"

"You promise?"

"I promise"

Finally Kristine was able to go to sleep. She shut her eyes and let go of the guilt for Rosie. Dave kissed her forehead and closed his eyes too. They drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

Five hours of dreams and subconscious wishes later Kristine's eyes widened, she rubbed them and yawned. Dave wasn't lying in the bed with her but suddenly the door flew open and Dave marched in with a tray full

"Oh, Dave" Kristine smiled "this is lovely"

He put the tray on her lap and her face dropped from surprise and gratitude to shock and horror. The plate was black. She picked up what was once a piece of bacon and watched it disintegrate in her fingers and the black dust fall back onto the plate. She looked back at Dave who still had a huge smug grin on his face and smiled half-heartedly back

"What's up?" he asked "everything okay?"

"Dave" Kristine laughed, "it's blackened, it's burnt, it's charcoal"

"I'm sorry, darling" Dave giggled back "I wanted to do something nice for you"

"It's okay" Kristine hugged him "it's the thought that counts"

Dave puked up the tray and carried it to the kitchen. He cleared what was left of the bin and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard

"It's okay, baby" Kristine emerged from the hall and rubbed her eyes "I'll get my breakfast"

"No, my love" Dave insisted, "you go and sit with Yvonne, I'll get your breakfast"

Kristine went into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa

"Everything okay?" Yvonne asked without looking up from her magazine

"Yeah" Kristine answered "this is the second breakfast he's made for me today" Kristine noticed the disinterest in Yvonne's voice "he burnt the first one"

"Really" Yvonne smiled half-heartedly

"Okay" Kristine sighed "Yvonne what's wrong, you're not yourself?"

"I want to spend some time with you" Yvonne started to cry, "you're my best friend and you never want to see me"

"I see you all the time, we live together"

"It's not the same, can we have a girls night out?"

"Okay" Kristine agreed straight away which came of a surprise to Yvonne "that's a wonderful idea, we'll go out tonight"

"Just us?"

"Just us!"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen 

When Kristine and Dave arrived at the hospital to pay another visit to Rosie and Aimée-Leigh Hollister was already there.

"Hello Kochanski, Lister" Hollister smiled "I can't get over how beautiful Aimée-Leigh is"

"She gets it from her auntie Kriss" Dave joked

"Call me Kriss" she told Hollister "and call him Dave"

"Kriss" Rosie giggled excitedly "guess what"

"What?" Kristine asked in the same excited tone as her sister "what is it?"

"Frank has brought me and Aimée-Leigh a little house"

"Wow" Kristine's jaw dropped and she looked at Hollister "does your wife know about this?"

"yes" Hollister hung his head in shame "she's left me"

"Oh" Kristine murmured "I'd like to say I'm sorry but I can't, you brought it on yourself"

"I know Kriss" Hollister answered "she took my kids too, she took Rebecca and Jessica so now Aimée-Leigh is all I've got, I've got to do my best to look after her and Rosie"

"so we're moving in together" Rosie interrupted "isn't it wonderful?"

Kristine couldn't take it all in, she couldn't take any more of this. She didn't like how captain Hollister had accepted Rosie and Aimée-Leigh just like that. It was too easy for her sister, way too easy. Kristine needed to completely separate herself from the situation before she lost her job, her sister and her new baby niece. Here and now Kristine Kochanski made a decision, she was going to have some time away from Rosie, Hollister and the new baby and the time started NOW! She promised herself that she would use this time to build up her friendship with Yvonne and have lots of sex with Dave. Tonight she would spend time with Yvonne like already arranged; it was just what both of them needed.

"So where are we going, Yvonne?" Kristine applied her lippy

"I heard about this bar in the café this morning, it's called The Phantom's Palace"

"Sounds interesting" Kristine approved "let's go, I'll call the cab"

When they arrived at the bar it was far from what Kristine expected. There were girls kissing other girls and men attempting to kiss other men

"it's a gay bar" Kristine stated "Yvonne McGruder, you have brought me to a gay bar"

"No wonder the cap driver giggled when we told him where we were going" Yvonne agreed "oh dear"

"So" Kristine sighed, "what are we going to do now?"

"Stay" this was just one of Yvonne's attempts of keeping Kristine all to herself. She wasn't going to leave now! "Why not it's fun, we're here to have a laugh, why not?"

"Oh, alright then"

"Great, I'll grab some drinks what's yours?"

"Jack Daniels and coke please"

Kristine watched her best friend skip off to get some drinks. Suddenly it all came back to her, the advances back on Red Dwarf. The times Kristine caught Yvonne looking at her when she was changing or pretending to sleep and more recently the questions that Yvonne was asking about Kristine's feelings and just that morning Yvonne complaining that they didn't spend enough time together. It all added up to one thing. Yvonne McGruder was a lesbian and Kristine Kochanski was the object of her affection.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen 

Yvonne brought back the drinks and excitedly handed one of them to Kristine. She took and downed it in gulp

"Drink up" she told Yvonne "I'm treating you to dinner in the restaurant next door"

"Okay" Yvonne shrugged her shoulders and downed her drink "c'mon let's go"

The restaurant wasn't very busy but it was very expensive. They sat at a table and ordered

"Yvonne I know" Kristine blurted out suddenly

"What do you know?" Yvonne answered

"I know you're a lesbian" Kristine sighed "and I know you want me!"

"No" Yvonne shook her head "I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual and I want both you and Arnold"

"I must confess, I'm slightly bi too"

Yvonne's eyes lit up "really?"

"Yeah, but I don't love you, Yvonne, I love Dave, like you love Arnold"

"I understand. Kriss, can I just ask you one question"

"Sure"

"Would I be your type?"

"I fancy you, Yvonne, there's no point in denying it, you're beautiful, but that's it, I don't love you"

"Do you ever think about me?"

"Sometimes, sometimes I want to kiss you, but I always want to kiss Dave more"

"How do you know that his kisses are as nice as mine, you've never kissed me"

"I don't but I do know how Dave's kisses make me feel and I know I love him more than I've loved anyone before"

"Kiss me now" Yvonne offered, "See how you feel when you kiss me. If you don't' feel anything we'll forget it and carry on being friends"

"I'm sorry, Yvonne, I can't cheat on Dave, I can't risk it"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Yvonne, please promise me you wont be angry"

"I promise you I'm not angry, Kriss, I'm upset, it's just typical, I tell you my feelings and you reject me"

"I'm sorry I just don't love you"

"It's okay, I don't blame you, can I have a hug"

"Sure, come here"

Taking Yvonne in her arms and giving her a hug was possibly the worst thing Kristine could've done because Yvonne would never take no for an answer and she was strong. She grabbed Kristine's face and pulled her towards her own lips. Kristine resisted for a few seconds but then couldn't do it anymore. She kissed Yvonne back and took it too the next stage, she slipped her tongue into Yvonne's mouth.

"There's a hotel next door" Yvonne giggled, "Shall we eat up and then book a room?"

"Okay" Kristine agreed, "Can I just set a few rules"

"Okay, go on"

"I'm attracted to you, but I love Dave, I'm just trying this out, don't be disappointed if I don't like it"

"Agreed" Yvonne, promised, "Now eat up"

it wasn't long until Kristine Kochanski and Yvonne McGruder were laying naked on the hotel bed.

"Just a bit of fun" Yvonne agreed, "who's going first?"

"I'll do you" Kristine smiled "if you want"

"Have you done this before?"

"No why, have you?"

"Yes" Yvonne confessed "I had a long term girlfriend before I signed up for the space core, one day she just walked out on me, just like that, it was horrible"

"Oh, Yvonne"

"So yes Kriss, I've done it before"

"Are you saying you want to do me first?"

"Yeah, seeing as I know what to do"

"Oh, okay then"

Kristine lay down on her back and opened her legs. Yvonne kissed Kristine's legs continuously making her way form her ankles to her knees and then right the way up. Millions of thoughts flooded Kristine's mind. Was this really what she wanted? Suddenly reality hit and Kristine jumped up.

"I can't do this, I'm sorry Yvonne, I can't cheat on Dave"

"Why not?" Yvonne demanded "you need to try it, you never know, you might enjoy it"

"The act, yes" Kristine explained "but I wont enjoy betraying and hurting Dave"

"Kriss, he'll never know"

"But I will, Yvonne and I couldn't do that"

"Okay" Yvonne forced a smiled "I understand, I shouldn't be doing this to Arnold either"

"So you're not angry then? We're still best friends?"

"Of course we are" Yvonne laughed at the thought that their friendship was over "I still love you, Kriss, but I won't make any advances unless you want me to!"

"Thank you" Kristine smiled "I'm sorry"

"It's okay, let's go home"

"No, why don't we stay in the hotel, we've paid for the room overnight, we might as well use it"

"There's only one bed"

"So? We're still best friends"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive"

"Okay" Yvonne smiled "I'll ring the boys"


End file.
